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I smell stomach acid.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
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