I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive