I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.