just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.