Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me