just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.