Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.