just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.