On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.