I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.