You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.