The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table