She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
People in love make me want to vomit
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.