you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?