Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (858)

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  (858): View more from California

  Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts

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  (858): Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts http://tfl.nu/npv2
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  Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

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  (858): Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere http://tfl.nu/0d9e
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  ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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  (858): ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL http://tfl.nu/gcph
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  You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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  (858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat. http://tfl.nu/yzbr
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  last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"

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  (858): last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian" http://tfl.nu/bnai
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  that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...

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  (858): that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey... http://tfl.nu/6cil
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  ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.

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  (858): ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me. http://tfl.nu/yno6
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  this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me

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  that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.

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  (858): this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me (619): that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box. http://tfl.nu/s7vm
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  Life is so much better after having sex.

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  (858): Life is so much better after having sex. http://tfl.nu/blju
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  I'll start drinking again when I know where I am

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  (858): I'll start drinking again when I know where I am http://tfl.nu/a7gj
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  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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  (858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4
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  while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go

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  (858): while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go http://tfl.nu/n616
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  He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities

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  (858): He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities http://tfl.nu/i2zo
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  currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh

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  (858): currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh http://tfl.nu/1197
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  So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?

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  (858): So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis? http://tfl.nu/f1iy
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