Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor