I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"