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I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
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