I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.