Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (773)

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

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  (773): Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass. http://tfl.nu/m2gp
  Replies (6) Good night (1240) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?

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  (773): which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend? http://tfl.nu/b2t3
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  Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals

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  (773): Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals http://tfl.nu/fp9n
  Replies (5) Good night (575) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.

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  (773): Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that. http://tfl.nu/tp3a
  Replies (8) Good night (1273) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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  (773): It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car http://tfl.nu/9u20
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  Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again

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  (773): Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again http://tfl.nu/5np3
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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  (773): Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you. http://tfl.nu/9snq
  Replies (11) Good night (493) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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  I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.

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  (773): I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain. http://tfl.nu/ynjh
  Replies (0) Good night (694) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?

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  (773): Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents? http://tfl.nu/nffm
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (368)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."

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  (773): i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations." http://tfl.nu/7d4e
  Replies (7) Good night (471) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.

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  I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.

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  (773): Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA. (213): I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars. http://tfl.nu/q1ju
  Replies (15) Good night (1597) Bad night (460)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.

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  (773): If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one. http://tfl.nu/q8n4
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  What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?

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  (773): What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again? http://tfl.nu/duvn
  Replies (7) Good night (1703) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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  (773): Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day http://tfl.nu/fpi9
  Replies (4) Good night (697) Bad night (1365) Order T-Shirt
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  I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.

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  (773): I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea. http://tfl.nu/j1n0
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