How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"