You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.