im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.