Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Georgia (706)

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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  (706): If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america. http://tfl.nu/uk3q
  Replies (28) Good night (1114) Bad night (2370) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Try anal, it works wonders.

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  (478): Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week. (706): Try anal, it works wonders. http://tfl.nu/shua
  Replies (21) Good night (573) Bad night (2319)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

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  (706): So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator. (404): I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer? (706): Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/p10m
  Replies (28) Good night (647) Bad night (1771)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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  (706): Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later http://tfl.nu/a02r
  Replies (26) Good night (7294) Bad night (1715) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?

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  (706): Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession? http://tfl.nu/ohzs
  Replies (50) Good night (5990) Bad night (1672) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal

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  (706): saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal http://tfl.nu/ml27
  Replies (10) Good night (4373) Bad night (1625) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

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  (706): I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4. http://tfl.nu/ltz1
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (1619) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....

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  (706): Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in.... http://tfl.nu/ewud
  Replies (8) Good night (576) Bad night (1570) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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  (706): just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was. http://tfl.nu/tfbm
  Replies (4) Good night (484) Bad night (1547) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

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  (706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face. http://tfl.nu/e8qy
  Replies (82) Good night (16668) Bad night (1521) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.

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  (706): Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon. http://tfl.nu/nu6w
  Replies (18) Good night (1001) Bad night (1420) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

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  (678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c
  Replies (155) Good night (15026) Bad night (1416)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times

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  (706): He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times http://tfl.nu/wnel
  Replies (12) Good night (8202) Bad night (1231)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

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  (706): I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant. http://tfl.nu/0cvw
  Replies (50) Good night (5122) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.

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  (706): we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating. http://tfl.nu/lk5p
  Replies (13) Good night (6258) Bad night (1033) Order T-Shirt