I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.