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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
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