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So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
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