Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (585)

Last Night in New York (585)

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Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook

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(585): Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook http://tfl.nu/4sfp

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Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?

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(585): Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable? http://tfl.nu/iygw

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It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.

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(585): It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate. http://tfl.nu/p0j4

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Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.

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How high are you?

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(585): Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies. (1-585): How high are you? http://tfl.nu/ixro

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just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use

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how?

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not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days

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(585): just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use (716): how? (585): not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days http://tfl.nu/m616

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You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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(585): You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you. http://tfl.nu/gcz1

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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.

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(585): I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again. http://tfl.nu/lp5f

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S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.

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(585): S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding. http://tfl.nu/j7eu

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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

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Find him and marry him.

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(716): He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night. (585): Find him and marry him. http://tfl.nu/d6kn

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N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.

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(585): N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/tsau

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So stoned i forgot i was in bed

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(585): So stoned i forgot i was in bed http://tfl.nu/69t5

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Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.

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(585): Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent. http://tfl.nu/f2ox

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Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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(585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd

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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks

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(585): javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks http://tfl.nu/0lfa

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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT

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(585): I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT http://tfl.nu/ktzj

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Last Night in New York (585)

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