Last Night in New York (585)

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• (585): View more from New York

  Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello

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• (585): View more from New York

  broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

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  you're writing country songs now?

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• (585): View more from New York

  I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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• (585): View more from New York

  Even the bartender felt bad for me

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• (585): View more from New York

  WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

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• (585): View more from New York

  My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.

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• (585): View more from New York

  If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.

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• (585): View more from New York

  i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"

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• (585): View more from New York

  I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...

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• (585): View more from New York

  just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?

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• (585): View more from New York

  Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?

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• (585): View more from New York

  there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer

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• (585): View more from New York

  there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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