Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.