The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.