we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked