Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (360)

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  I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.

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  (360): I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/54bi
  Replies (14) Good night (1119) Bad night (3732) Order T-Shirt
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  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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  (360): Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month http://tfl.nu/vjm5
  Replies (16) Good night (2010) Bad night (3724) Order T-Shirt
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  he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

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  (360): he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/9e4p
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  Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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  (360): Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised. http://tfl.nu/xha6
  Replies (45) Good night (1799) Bad night (3692) Order T-Shirt
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  Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck

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  (360): Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck http://tfl.nu/w3fd
  Replies (18) Good night (1465) Bad night (3551)
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  did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.

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  some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.

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  (360): did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends. (425): some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate. http://tfl.nu/ohwc
  Replies (19) Good night (796) Bad night (3526)
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  Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?

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  (360): Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me? http://tfl.nu/3uhh
  Replies (16) Good night (1066) Bad night (3518) Order T-Shirt
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  I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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  (360): I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized http://tfl.nu/nze6
  Replies (16) Good night (2035) Bad night (3211) Order T-Shirt
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  his personality makes his face look like an asshole.

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  (360): his personality makes his face look like an asshole. http://tfl.nu/0gwl
  Replies (14) Good night (718) Bad night (3013) Order T-Shirt
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  Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?

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  (360): Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot? http://tfl.nu/quvh
  Replies (22) Good night (741) Bad night (2835) Order T-Shirt
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  im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place

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  (360): im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place http://tfl.nu/ws4h
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  She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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  (360): She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt. http://tfl.nu/1my8
  Replies (20) Good night (1232) Bad night (2737) Order T-Shirt
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  Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.

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  (360): Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head. http://tfl.nu/n0gh
  Replies (33) Good night (1126) Bad night (2725) Order T-Shirt
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  we are all sexual creatures

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  yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.

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  (360): we are all sexual creatures (951): yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any. http://tfl.nu/bk7c
  Replies (9) Good night (569) Bad night (2686)
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  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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  (360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k
  Replies (19) Good night (4797) Bad night (2579) Order T-Shirt