Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place