i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.