in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again