Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (347)

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  (347): View more from New York

  i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

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  (347): i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick. http://tfl.nu/65g9
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  she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.

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  ofcourse you didnt.

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  (347): she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless. (1-347): ofcourse you didnt. http://tfl.nu/elq0
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  It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.

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  (347): It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency. http://tfl.nu/gkum
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  Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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  (347): Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight" http://tfl.nu/561l
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  triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?

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  (347): triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time? http://tfl.nu/50jt
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  How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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  (347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja
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  his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

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  (347): his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you. http://tfl.nu/crxb
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  ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.

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  (347): ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down. http://tfl.nu/rocj
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  I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning

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  (347): I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning http://tfl.nu/a79g
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  last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake

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  (347): last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake http://tfl.nu/pvxf
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  When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards

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  (347): When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards http://tfl.nu/auk4
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  when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

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  Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

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  he is a god among men.

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  (917): when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment. (917): Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles. (347): he is a god among men. http://tfl.nu/gmep
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  Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Please tell me you're talking about his personality.

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  (347): Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year. (917): Please tell me you're talking about his personality. http://tfl.nu/ofhy
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  It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself

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  (347): It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself http://tfl.nu/qcs9
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  the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant

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  (347): the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant http://tfl.nu/765y
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