I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
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Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.