Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (214)

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  (214): View more from Texas

  well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.

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  (214): well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/1ijf
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  How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?

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  (214): How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink? http://tfl.nu/kd28
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  As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.

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  (214): As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight. http://tfl.nu/njgf
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  you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.

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  (214): you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more. http://tfl.nu/8xes
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  It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.

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  (214): It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad. http://tfl.nu/hqh8
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  My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.

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  (214): My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down. http://tfl.nu/p7qt
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  My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.

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  (214): My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/7yfd
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  Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.

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  (214): Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house. http://tfl.nu/po12
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  He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks

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  (214): He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks http://tfl.nu/xm8f
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  I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

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  (214): I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go. http://tfl.nu/67tg
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  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (20) Good night (1238) Bad night (1143)
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  Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

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  (214): Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece? http://tfl.nu/qvgx
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  I want to celebrate with you...

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  There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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  (713): I want to celebrate with you... (214): There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner. http://tfl.nu/n2zn
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  Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.

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  (214): Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more. http://tfl.nu/1w8z
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  The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.

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  (214): The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship. http://tfl.nu/tn77
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