I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...