I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
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This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night