NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
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I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.