The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER