My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How does one acquire holy water?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year