Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (214)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter

  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter (214): Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous. http://tfl.nu/a0w0
  Replies (4) Good night (1206) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo. http://tfl.nu/7r9s
  Replies (3) Good night (1407) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship http://tfl.nu/dbjp
  Replies (3) Good night (949) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life http://tfl.nu/rhcn
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake... http://tfl.nu/n6e9
  Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room. http://tfl.nu/r3lr
  Replies (11) Good night (268) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me http://tfl.nu/sx3p
  Replies (9) Good night (1182) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing. http://tfl.nu/q1z1
  Replies (10) Good night (2203) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw http://tfl.nu/sktq
  Replies (5) Good night (876) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

  (281): View more from Texas

  If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex? (281): If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy! http://tfl.nu/0a5o
  Replies (16) Good night (2021) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff. http://tfl.nu/wfam
  Replies (3) Good night (269) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time. http://tfl.nu/18ab
  Replies (19) Good night (2042) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water. http://tfl.nu/39g2
  Replies (11) Good night (407) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Do you have any booze?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Do you have any booze? (214): Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl... http://tfl.nu/sb57
  Replies (8) Good night (1955) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up http://tfl.nu/l4k9
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt