I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i barfeds in our rink
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother