Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (415)

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Last Night in California (415)

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(415): View more from California

JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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(415): View more from California

fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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(951): View more from California

what ever happened to devon sawa?

(415): View more from California

fuck...who knows?

(951): View more from California

i'm really worried about him.

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(415): View more from California

How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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(415): View more from California

Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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(415): View more from California

I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

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(510): View more from California

he said he didn't have a condom.

(415): View more from California

and you said?

(510): View more from California

that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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(415): View more from California

just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?

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