if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance