First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
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we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?