I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
