Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted