I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.