I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.