I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper