The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment