The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
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There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is