Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
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I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
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She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.