Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (703)

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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  (703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr
  Replies (30) Good night (5255) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"

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  (703): Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises" http://tfl.nu/h5gc
  Replies (3) Good night (1411) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the vacuum is drunk

  (703): View more from Virginia

  what?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk

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  (908): the vacuum is drunk (703): what? (908): i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk http://tfl.nu/sgxh
  Replies (17) Good night (2287) Bad night (305)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.

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  (443): you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend (703): You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence. http://tfl.nu/no32
  Replies (4) Good night (1332) Bad night (303)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

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  (703): Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock. http://tfl.nu/z9t5
  Replies (18) Good night (3841) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.

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  (703): I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks. http://tfl.nu/40kn
  Replies (3) Good night (1360) Bad night (300)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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  (703): i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/u7ul
  Replies (13) Good night (708) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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  (703): How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time. http://tfl.nu/qie0
  Replies (2) Good night (1051) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

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  (703): Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/dwth
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  (505): I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy. (703): OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/zfcv
  Replies (1) Good night (1652) Bad night (257)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello

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  (703): Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello http://tfl.nu/a1cc
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.

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  (703): Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U. http://tfl.nu/bimg
  Replies (5) Good night (583) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience

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  (703): Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience http://tfl.nu/mhgr
  Replies (5) Good night (985) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
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  (721): View more from

  That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  omg, i know.

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  we're too high.

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  (721): That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure. (703): omg, i know. (721): we're too high. http://tfl.nu/fbyr
  Replies (26) Good night (1266) Bad night (246)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.

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  (703): party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come. http://tfl.nu/yys7
  Replies (12) Good night (848) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt