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She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
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