new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my shit smells like andre
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he was CRYING into my vagina
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.