pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wipe that smile off your face.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me