you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
operation have a gay friend backfired
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk