Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
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After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?