Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
seriously i just wanna be friends
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds