Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
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i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me