the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook