VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower