There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.