Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often